Bad World
by Warren Ellis
BAD SPIDERGOAT

Remember backmask

Spidergoat, Spidergoat, does anything a… ah… Spidergoat can…


About a hundred and fifty of them are housed on a former USAF base in Plattsburgh, New York. Eventually, Nexia Biotechnologies will corral around one thousand five hundred of the things there. Spidergoat City.

Can it swing? Listen, bud, it's got radioactive blood!

Well, not quite. The spidergoats have had spidery genes webbed into their goaty genetic structure that allows their uddery bits to spin a spider-unique protein into their milk. The protein is then extracted from the milk to produce the patented BioSteel, which is essentially spider-silk fibre. BioSteel, which possesses "a unique combination of strength and elasticity with an ultra-lightweight fiber," has applications in bulletproof apparel, and aerospace and medical supplies.

Nexia will be using the base's bunkers to house the spidergoats, and will breed them in a facility above ground.

"We feel the site ... is a real adequate site and is in a very secure setting," Isabelle Trombley-Summers, Nexia site director of agricultural affairs, told the Plattsburgh Press-Republican. She has evidently assured Plattsburgh that they will maintain excellent environmental standards at Spidergoat City. "There's no problem with that," Codes Enforcement Officer Donald Lee said of environmental and health standards. The Plattsburgh Press-Republican added: "He said there's enough room to spread goat manure, and the goats won't be near the Saranac River or any streams."

Why are they afraid of Spidergoats pissing in the water?

What would happen to the people of Plattsburgh if one thousand five hundred Spidergoats contaminated local fresh water supplies?

You know, it's almost worth cutting big holes in the fence to find out.

Warren Ellis
Southend, England
November 5 2000



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